How space in your calendar can make decision making easier

Are you writing endless to do lists and running from one appointment to another? Do you feel bored when you have some spare time on your hands? Is your calendar so full you have no room for spontaneity? Then you might need to take a step back and reevaluate how you spend your time.  

A hamster wheel life is mentally exhausting, physically demanding and does not support a relationship with yourself. A relationship with yourself is the most important one you will ever have. You will not regret the time you spend on nurturing it and listening to those inner whispers. This means you might have to say ‘no’ to things you would like to say ‘yes’ to. The wins are many:

·       Increased self-awareness.

·       A deeper connection with your intuition.

·       A greater understanding of what you need and want.

All this will help you make the right decisions in life to serve you and support your future goals.

Time to think is an underrated luxury

With more space in your calendar, you get more time to think. When I trained as a coach, I fell upon this quote by Ram Dass in The Coaching Manual by Julie Starr:

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”

It had a powerful impact on me. I’ve always needed time alone to tank up on energy spent with others, but I did not fully appreciate that need until I saw what I gained.

Time alone gives you much needed reflection time to digest tough conversations, awkward events and manage frustrations. To check in with your emotions and understand what is causing them. Time alone invites you to be rather than do. Time alone is an opportunity to take a step back, physically, and philosophically, and see things you can never see when you are in the middle of it. It allows you to reframe an event and find the unique learning for you.

A supportive tribe is invaluable; however, other people always have an opinion. These opinions can often make you do thinks other people think are right for you. Always remember, YOU know what YOU need first and foremost. Glennon Doyle refers to this as ‘knowing’ in her book Untamed. First, you must dare to listen.

Time to think can also be part of a conversation that matters with a coach or therapist. Many of my coaching clients say, ‘I’ve never said that out loud before.’ And it leads them to make the right decision.

How can you add more time to think in your life?

Burnout is not a badge of honour

The hamster wheel life is out. Self-care is in. Freedom. Time. Good health. No pay check will ever replace these. Sometimes you learn this lesson the hard way. If the body gets too tired, it shuts down for rest. If the body is neglected or abused, it keeps the score. The damage is done. Crashes come in all shapes and sizes. Illness, sleepless nights, relationship breakdowns, and other physical ailments. Sadly, there is sometimes no way back.

Your job may be rewarding yet overworking can also destructive. Finding a healthy balance is both a constant and ongoing part of life. This balance will always be individual and will show up in your self-care programme, how you walk your talk and live your values. Excessive work might fill a gap to cope with loneliness, heartache, and other temporary emotions, yet it will never be a long-term solution. There are always clues you are on a collision course. Never be afraid to ask for help - many bosses will happily extend deadlines or find extra resources.

During the pandemic an acquaintance of mine found themselves with more free time in the day after cutting out a two-hour commute. How did they choose to spend this time? Sadly, they chose to work more. When asked why, they fell silent. One year on from this conversation, I know they are battling stress.

How to create more space in your calendar

What you say no to defines your life. Sometimes you may find yourself saying no to something you would like to say yes to. Either way, saying no will create more space in your calendar. Below I offer a few tips on how to get started:

·       Plan activities on one day of the weekend only.

·       Say ‘yes’ to one afterwork social arrangement per week.

·       Avoid back-to-back engagements without space to think /breathe /reflect /be human during your day.

·       Create a list of energy giving solo activities and weave them into your life. See it as a pick and mix you dip into depending on what tickles your mojo and what you have time for.

·       Learn to embrace the space of now. It might never come back.

What would you add to this list?

Do less, achieve more

"Motion does not equal action. Busyness does not equal effectiveness."

James Clear

Following a plan is good for progress, but opportunity usually exists off the plan. Time off is always well spent. Whatever your reason is a good enough reason. Are you dreaming of a mini sabbatical like Sonja Dukic to reconnect with yourself? Just do it! One thing is certain, your future self will thank you for it.

Finally, it’s official, rest is good for both your physical and mental health, wellbeing, and productivity. Listen to Dr Rangan Chatterjee’s podcast – Why You Need More Rest with Claudia Hammond – to learn more.

Photo by SHVETS production